i love when fic writers who have clearly never tried any kind of alcohol in their lives try to write someone drinking bc they’re always like
“he ordered a tall glass of hard liquor. after three large glasses he was feeling tipsy” like babygirl i can’t be sure but i think u just sent this man to the hospital
“the amber liquid tasted sweet” bestie i can assure you it did not
can’t wait for the final boss battle of duolingo when you fight the 50 foot owl armed with nothing but your wits, a sword, and your shaky grasp of verb conjugations
oh my god… duel lingo
Die Eule habe hat Hunger
True to form, I actually messed up the verb conjugation when I first put the words on this. XD
you know when little kids are told to smile for the camera and they do the biggest grin bc they aren’t self conscious about their teeth yet they just give it their all.. that’s wat this looks like
imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora
you don’t know where the guy is. you don’t know where the guy is going. but you do know he’s on the case w a 98% success rate and his tits are out
so every night my cat Astro has a little ritual where he will ‘tuck’ my wife and I into bed.
this usually happens around 11pm on the dot, where he will start to meow at us and demand pets. My wife will usually go to bed first, led by Astro, where he will let her pet him, but he won’t be happy until I get into bed too (I sometimes stay up later). This makes mr. Astro boy not so happy, and my wife says he’ll look at the bed with just her for a few minutes before running off to fetch me
He will. Not. Stop. Meowing. Until I shut off the computer and go to the bedroom with him. This is a nightly thing. This little boy will not let me stay up! I have to go 'one second!’ as I’m shutting things down before going to my bed and laying down. He will then proceed to nuzzle us and give us both cuddle time for ten minutes before fucking off
My cat has figured out a way to get me to go to bed on time. I love this for him
A spotless giraffe was recently born at Bright’s Zoo in Limestone, TN and was just announced in the media this morning. They’re starting a public naming contest for her, of course.
ALT
I’d love to know what type of mutation causes this lack of of pattern, but I don’t know if we have genetics on that for giraffes the way we do other species. As far as is known, she’s the first spotless giraffe ever documented!
There’s been at least one spotless giraffe before! Gotta love how quickly the director debunked that “first” claim - good on him even though it changes the publicity slightly.
The archival photos have to be licensed so the media is linking to them rather than reproducing them, and I’m going to do the same. You can find them at this link and see them for free (with watermarks).
ALT
